Shredding @ Playa Tamarindo

Molasses Covered Honeymoon - Day Five

For our fifth day in Costa Rica we decided to have a beach day. No organized activities or tours. I was chomping at the bit to try out my newly acquired surfing skills as taught to me by Charlo. Olivia had little to no burning desire to try out her new surfing skills, but she had no objections to spending an entire day at the beach.

We rented two beach chairs at Playa Tamarindo for 6,000 colones for the whole day. It probably would have been more quiet and secluded at Playa Langosta behind our hotel, but the waves at Playa Langosta were crowded with expert surfers. There appeared to be only one small break at Playa Langosta, and it was far too big and fast for me to attempt - even if there weren’t ten surfers waiting in line for each wave. There was also the issue of the volcanic rock littered all over the sea floor in that particular area.

So we elected to spend the day at Playa Tamarindo, which was much better suited for beginners surfing. Even though it was more crowded than Playa Langosta, it was a much larger beach with a much more diverse selection of waves (i.e. small and steady waves). More importantly, at Playa Tamarindo there was no possibility of combing your entire face with a large rock on the sea floor as you are somehow thrown violently off a plank that is only traveling 0.2 miles per hour.

I rented a massive beginners board for 5,000 colones from the same surf shop that we got our lesson from. Charlo just happened to be hanging out in the store when I was there, and he advised me on which board was best for my skill set. I’m pretty sure he advised me to get the biggest board in the shop, as there is an inverse relationship with the size of your board and your surfing skill level. As my skill level was currently hovering around the absolute zero level, I was advised to rent a thirty-foot surf board.

I lugged my thirty-foot rental board back to our rental beach chairs and just stared at it for a long time. After awhile Olivia asked me if I was going to do anything with the board, or if it was meant to just be part of our beach lounging décor. I told her I was just waiting for the right set of waves to roll in. She looked out at the current set of waves rolling in and said that she thought the current set of waves was eerily similar to the last set of waves. In fact, there was no difference at all from the current set of waves as compared to the last set of waves. And it just may be that at this particular beach, all sets are pretty much the same. I told her that she had no idea what she was talking about. Waves arrive in sets of three or four. No two sets are the same. The sea and air and sun and moon are always fluctuating, and you must observe them until you feel balanced within their motions. Charlo taught me this.

Olivia then reminded me that she took the same surf lesson from Charlo, and Charlo did not teach us this. Charlo taught us to duck and paddle and pop up. He did not teach us to sit on the beach and triangulate the position of the moon and Jupiter. Olivia told me that I appeared to be confused.  I informed her politely that she was crazy in the head and she was not helping me find my balance. She told me that if I wanted to find balance, I should go find a truncated wood pillar and practice the crane on it like Danielsan. I told her that didn’t make any sense. So she told me that maybe I should just go put that big ass board in the water and try standing on it while riding a wave. That is the purpose of renting the board, isn’t it?  I told her I would….in just a minute…I just needed another minute…I might have a nap first…I was pretty tired all of a sudden. And I also wanted to read a bit. So I read for awhile.

Note: The above conversation did not actually happen. It was more of an internal dialogue. Olivia did ask me a couple of times if I had planned on catching some waves any time soon. But that was only to find out if I wouldn’t mind watching our stuff while she went for a quick dip.

After she ventured out to the water a couple of times, I and got bored of reading, I finally worked up the nerve to head out to sea. I walked along the water’s edge for a long ways until I found a spot with the smallest crowd. I found a spot with only two or three other surfers nearby. I paddled out and was able to use Charlo’s techniques to pull my board under the break without expending too much energy. I was also able to use Charlo’s techniques to position myself properly and paddle into the break. But every single time I got that massive plank moving, and I attempted to pop up, wipeout. Every single time I got on my feet that board would shoot out from underneath me and I’d fall backwards into the white wash. I just couldn’t get the timing down. Or I couldn’t get enough speed. Or both.  I tried over and over again and never quite got it.

At one point I found myself consistently dodging out of the way of two teenage boys who were body surfing nearby. No matter how far away I’d paddle from them, I found myself just missing them on my attempts. At one point, after a very near collision, I noticed one of them sort of congratulating the other. I realized that they were playing chicken with me. As I had already inhaled three gallons of salt water through my nose, my eyeballs felt like they might actually catch fire, and my arms felt like two noodles dangling from shoulders, I was in no mood for any kind of game that involved me being a feckless target. So I paddled into one last wave and didn’t even bother trying to pop up. I laid there stoically as the wave carried me past the boys and to the shore.

I took a long break and returned to the same spot later in the afternoon. The boys were gone, the area was still relatively empty, the waves were still rolling in, and I was still unable to catch a ride. I paddled as much as I could manage, but never caught that ride.

I returned the board and went immediately to the little market next door and purchased two Imperial Light cans. I brought them back to our beach chairs and gave one to Olivia. We drank them as the sun began to set on the water. I was exhausted and my eyes felt like they might cut through my eyelids every time I blinked, but I felt a sort of contentment as my battered body absorbed that beach chair and that frosty cold pilsner beer doused the salty flame from my gullet.

When we finished our Imperial Lights, we packed up our beach gear and found a bar that was serving two-for-one mojitos for happy hour. When we had our fill of two-for-one mojitos, we relocated to a sushi bar called Wok n Roll. Olivia ordered two sushi rolls and I had a bowl of beef and broccoli and a fried egg on top. We feasted merrily, and then merrily caught a taxi back to our villa where we merrily sacked out.